Ranting and raving and carrying on

Just a few random thoughts about random stuff. Warning - may contain profanity

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Location: Toronto-ish, Ontario, Canada

Just a guy... Bit of a geek, but who isn't these days?

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

First post!!! Meh, whatever.

So, I've joined the 21st century and gotten a blog. Big, fat, hairy whoop.

I suppose, on the off chance that someone actually reads this thing, I should tell you about myself - that's the usual thing. Besides, if you're writing a blog, odds are you've got an ego and want to be the centre of attention. However, I'm going to try to keep just enough personally-identifiable information out of this that the average person can't find me.

Anyway, I'm a "security specialist" (read: hacker) with one of the largest computer companies in the world. I'm not going to tell you which one. I'm also an officer in the Canadian military (reserves), a licensed pyrotechnician, former junior rifle champion of South Western Ontario, and I've dabbled in several forms of armed and unarmed martial arts. In short, not somebody you'd want to fuck with. And yet people try...

I'm reasonably educated, with two undergraduate degrees (Geology and Computer Science), and several professional certifications, including RHCE, LPIC, CNA, and CISSP. Rumour has it I have a brain in my head.

Gee, all this and looks, too? Whatever.

What else? Well, last year, at the age of 34, I was formally diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. Since then I've been taking Ritalin - it helps, most of the time. However, I've actually found that absinthe (the good stuff, not the cheap Czech crap) helps more. Too bad my employer would freak if I showed up for work pissed to the gills on it.

How to describe ADD... Well, for starters, I've always been this way, so I don't really know what your world is like. However, my world is filled with random thoughts and chaotic impulses. I say stupid things at random times, leap to the solution to a problem when everyone else is still trying to determine what the problem is, and generally live my life way faster than you do.

Back when I was in university, my room-mate put a sign on his wall saying "Did you ever feel like life was going 500mph faster than you are?" I put up my own sign, saying "Did you ever feel like you were going 500mph faster than life?" He thought I was mocking him, but most of the time that's how I feel.

Ritalin is some weird shit. It makes my brain quiet. I can hear my thoughts - almost hear them echo, in fact. Normally, the inside of my head is like I'm listening to the entire FM radio band at once - lots of static with snippets of ideas and songs and so on. Highly creative, but hard to follow through with anything.

The reason I went to the doctor (and got this diagnosis) was that, in my job, I was having to attend anywhere up to 20 hours a week of meetings (I kid you not). Very hard for me to sit through even 1 hour, much less 4 or 5 hours straight. I read some things posted on the 'net by other people, saw some real similarities between them and myself, and asked my doctor. He referred me to a shrink (one who specializes in kids, actually), who after a number of visits and questionaires and assessments and so on, confirmed the diagnosis. Took a couple of months to get the Ritalin dosage right, but I've been on it close to a year now.

Anyway, I'm married, have been for almost 3 years now. We live in downtown Toronto, in a decent little house with 2 rabbits, a hedgehog, and a hamster. And a crapload of mice, but they are more of a hindrance than a pet, what with living in the walls and crapping under the bookshelves and so on.